El Laberinto del Fauno 'Pan's Labyrinth' A review!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 by -M
Before we even start i musts say this:This movie would have been fucking rad if it did not have meaningless violence in it. This move had everything going for it, then when i had to sit and watch this Spaniard captain graphically bash this mans face in with a wine bottle the movie confused me. Is this a well made (up to this point) visually stunning movie or is this some kind of sadistic garbage looking to shock a Mexican and ultimately American audience? Why fuck this up?
Synopsis: In post-Civil War northern Spain in 1944, a 12-year-old girl, Ofelia (Ivana Baquero), moves with her heavily-pregnant mother and stepfather into a new home in the countryside. Her stepfather, Captain Vidal (Sergi López) has been sent to this remote area to rid it of a small Republican militia. Disliked by the sadistic Vidal, Ofelia, who revels in ancient stories and fairy tales, discovers an immense and ancient labyrinth guarded by a faun (Doug Jones). He tells her she is the long-lost daughter of Hades, the Greek god of the Underworld, and to regain entry to her kingdom she must carry out three tasks. So Ofelia enters a strange and no less dangerous world of fairies and extraordinary creatures such as the terrifying Pale Man (also played by Doug Jones).
Now this movie had some real amazing visuals, but the endless shootings and stabbings and the ultimate death of the little girl fucking sucked. She spends all this time freaking out over this quest and her sick mother who is under a mind meld from this Spanish caption. The are all living in this spooky war torn forest in early 20th century Spain during the civil war.
The little girl who is obviously stressed out and on the edge over her fucked up situation finds her way to this pretty cool fantasy world hidden in a labyrinth in the woods. Being lead by an insect fairy she meets a 'Fauno' (Pan) that lives in this labyrinth. He leads her to on some quests in hopes of her becoming a princess. All of this is makes for a good and fascinating movie and story. But then the mexican horror director (Guillermo del Toro, who calls himself "the geek from Guadalajara,") takes it to a shitty place with mass shootings to the head and stabbings and a screaming women with a bleeding vagina that a baby is about to burst from. All of this ends with the little girl who you grow to love getting shot meaninglessly buy a demented Spaniard with a hard on for war and carrying on his bloodline, at the same point this freak (the pan) is demanding she spill the blood of an innocent so she can live forever. Mind you all this shit goes on while she has her infant brother in her hands.
I know im going off and leaving a lot out, but this could have been a mint film, but the stupid killings and more than graphic beatings could have been left out. I want my fucking $9.50 back. As soon as i can im going to download this movie and edit it the right way and make it was it was supposed to be. A movie about a young girl dealing with all the trauma of war and the trauma of girlhood, ultimately discovering. She is wanted and special. A place of tragedy and magical fantasy and darkness.
Again, Why fuck this up?